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	Comments on: Alienated Children As Cat&#8217;s Paws	</title>
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	<link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/</link>
	<description>Understanding, preventing, and overcoming parental alienation</description>
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		<title>
		By: Dr. Richard A. Warshak		</title>
		<link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-4653</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Dr. Richard A. Warshak]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 07 Oct 2011 13:09:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=518#comment-4653</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-4574&quot;&gt;Anonymous&lt;/a&gt;.

I am sorry for the sad situation with your grandchildren. If you have a mailing address for them, and especially if they are living away from home, you might consider sending each a copy of the DVD, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.plutodvd.com&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Welcome Back, Pluto&lt;/a&gt;. Recently I heard from a college professor who told me that she shows this DVD to all her classes. She said about 70% of the college students from divorced families come up to her and say that they had an &quot;awakening&quot; from the film and many subsequently reach out to the parent they had been rejecting. Although at first I thought the DVD was too &quot;young&quot; for college students, after hearing from this professor and another professor with a similar experience, I now recommend that a grandparent in your situation think of sending the DVD to the adult grandchildren.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-4574">Anonymous</a>.</p>
<p>I am sorry for the sad situation with your grandchildren. If you have a mailing address for them, and especially if they are living away from home, you might consider sending each a copy of the DVD, <a href="http://www.plutodvd.com" rel="nofollow">Welcome Back, Pluto</a>. Recently I heard from a college professor who told me that she shows this DVD to all her classes. She said about 70% of the college students from divorced families come up to her and say that they had an &#8220;awakening&#8221; from the film and many subsequently reach out to the parent they had been rejecting. Although at first I thought the DVD was too &#8220;young&#8221; for college students, after hearing from this professor and another professor with a similar experience, I now recommend that a grandparent in your situation think of sending the DVD to the adult grandchildren.</p>
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		<title>
		By: Anonymous		</title>
		<link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-4574</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Anonymous]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Oct 2011 17:20:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=518#comment-4574</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I am 89 years old and my daughter and her husband manipulated my grandchildren, now over 21 years of age, to totally ignore my existance.  This is in retalliation for rescuing my other daughter and 3 young grandchildren from not having a roof over their heads and food in their mouths.  I did the right thing and don&#039;t deserve losing 3 grandchildren because of the whims of their perverted parents.  What can I do to Tell them the truth and hear what actually happened?  They have severed all communication, blocking emails and phone.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am 89 years old and my daughter and her husband manipulated my grandchildren, now over 21 years of age, to totally ignore my existance.  This is in retalliation for rescuing my other daughter and 3 young grandchildren from not having a roof over their heads and food in their mouths.  I did the right thing and don&#8217;t deserve losing 3 grandchildren because of the whims of their perverted parents.  What can I do to Tell them the truth and hear what actually happened?  They have severed all communication, blocking emails and phone.</p>
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		<title>
		By: EC		</title>
		<link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3417</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[EC]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Jun 2011 21:57:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=518#comment-3417</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3379&quot;&gt;EC&lt;/a&gt;.

I&#039;m disinclined toward juries in family court, but think parents could be given meaningful legal recourse when a decision is averse and wrong.

`Best interest of the child&#039; is nothing more than a `term of art,&#039; as legal people say: it&#039;s not a standard, as it&#039;s sometimes called, because there&#039;s no test defined in family law by which to determine whether the standard has been met or not in a particular order.   One cannot usually appeal on grounds that `best interest&#039; has not been served: appeals have to be based on judicial error, and when a judge has discretion under the law they cannot err.

Parents should go to court with their own parenting plans, and the court should be required to order the plan that prescribes the more equitable division of parenting time and responsibilities, in the absence of extenuating aspects of a well defined type.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3379">EC</a>.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m disinclined toward juries in family court, but think parents could be given meaningful legal recourse when a decision is averse and wrong.</p>
<p>`Best interest of the child&#8217; is nothing more than a `term of art,&#8217; as legal people say: it&#8217;s not a standard, as it&#8217;s sometimes called, because there&#8217;s no test defined in family law by which to determine whether the standard has been met or not in a particular order.   One cannot usually appeal on grounds that `best interest&#8217; has not been served: appeals have to be based on judicial error, and when a judge has discretion under the law they cannot err.</p>
<p>Parents should go to court with their own parenting plans, and the court should be required to order the plan that prescribes the more equitable division of parenting time and responsibilities, in the absence of extenuating aspects of a well defined type.</p>
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		<title>
		By: JM		</title>
		<link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3399</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[JM]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Jun 2011 01:27:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=518#comment-3399</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3379&quot;&gt;EC&lt;/a&gt;.

Wow...so true!  It&#039;s too bad a jury couldn&#039;t somehow come into play for custody decisions rather than having the burden of decision-making placed solely onto one (most likely burned-out) family court judge.  With the amount of custody cases however, this is sadly an improbable suggestion. These are unfortunately common issues that many families have dealt with in one way or another in some aspect of their life.  I agree with you that alienation needs to be more of a factor that carries weight as a form of emotional child abuse when decisions are made as to child custody.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3379">EC</a>.</p>
<p>Wow&#8230;so true!  It&#8217;s too bad a jury couldn&#8217;t somehow come into play for custody decisions rather than having the burden of decision-making placed solely onto one (most likely burned-out) family court judge.  With the amount of custody cases however, this is sadly an improbable suggestion. These are unfortunately common issues that many families have dealt with in one way or another in some aspect of their life.  I agree with you that alienation needs to be more of a factor that carries weight as a form of emotional child abuse when decisions are made as to child custody.</p>
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		<title>
		By: EC		</title>
		<link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3379</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[EC]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 Jun 2011 23:19:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=518#comment-3379</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3354&quot;&gt;EdWatters&lt;/a&gt;.

Child custody decisions are made in a way that&#039;s somewhat similar to the sentencing phase of a criminal case, which follows a conviction, in that judges have extensive discretion, although the guidelines that bracket the choices the judge can make are for most crimes much narrower than the mostly wide open field they have in custody cases.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3354">EdWatters</a>.</p>
<p>Child custody decisions are made in a way that&#8217;s somewhat similar to the sentencing phase of a criminal case, which follows a conviction, in that judges have extensive discretion, although the guidelines that bracket the choices the judge can make are for most crimes much narrower than the mostly wide open field they have in custody cases.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>
		By: EC		</title>
		<link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3371</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[EC]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 21:58:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=518#comment-3371</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[However family law has no provision that parental alienation figures into a custody decision in any particular way, or that recompense for suffering from it is due, in a way similar to the federal law protecting an employee who is also in military service which this case is about.

The main problem with parental alienation in court is not that the interpersonal dynamics of it isn&#039;t understood, but that it doesn&#039;t count or carries no weight within the framework by which decisions are made.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>However family law has no provision that parental alienation figures into a custody decision in any particular way, or that recompense for suffering from it is due, in a way similar to the federal law protecting an employee who is also in military service which this case is about.</p>
<p>The main problem with parental alienation in court is not that the interpersonal dynamics of it isn&#8217;t understood, but that it doesn&#8217;t count or carries no weight within the framework by which decisions are made.</p>
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		<title>
		By: EdWatters		</title>
		<link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/15/alienated-children-as-cats-paws/#comment-3354</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[EdWatters]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Jun 2011 23:10:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=518#comment-3354</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I hope Dr Warshak is correct that this decision could eventually have some relevance for cases involving PAS. After spending over 2 years in Family court in a PAS case however, I am pessimistic. Family court is as alien to rational decision making as Mars is to Earth and totally lacking the attributes that make criminal court a forum where justice is a reasonable expectation, such as due process and burden of proof belonging to the accuser.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I hope Dr Warshak is correct that this decision could eventually have some relevance for cases involving PAS. After spending over 2 years in Family court in a PAS case however, I am pessimistic. Family court is as alien to rational decision making as Mars is to Earth and totally lacking the attributes that make criminal court a forum where justice is a reasonable expectation, such as due process and burden of proof belonging to the accuser.</p>
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