<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" > <channel> <title> Comments on: Father’s Day Message to Rejected Fathers </title> <atom:link href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/</link> <description>Understanding, preventing, and overcoming parental alienation</description> <lastBuildDate>Sun, 02 Oct 2011 03:55:54 +0000</lastBuildDate> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <generator>https://wordpress.org/?v=6.1.7</generator> <item> <title> By: RedKevin47 </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-4552</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[RedKevin47]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 02 Oct 2011 03:55:54 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-4552</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3441">Dr. Dad</a>. Good advice, Dr. Dad. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I wonder if a friend of yours can convey to your daughter that you care and that you will always love her.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3441">Dr. Dad</a>.</p> <p>Good advice, Dr. Dad. I’m sorry this is happening to you. I wonder if a friend of yours can convey to your daughter that you care and that you will always love her.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Irene </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-4052</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Irene]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 30 Aug 2011 17:31:47 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-4052</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-4037">Matt Johnson</a>. Matt, having a decent relationship with your ex and already knowing about PAS even though you are not affected by it puts you in such a good position compared to the rest of us. I would recommend that at the first sign that your daughter is being pressured to take sides, that you (1) make sure your ex learns how damaging PAS is to children, and (2) provide your daughter with tools to help her stay out of the middle. One such is Dr Warshak's DVD "Welcome Back, Pluto", and another is Dr Amy Baker's book "I Don't Want to Choose". Good luck! It is encouraging to see that people are beginning to hear about PAS before it happens to them rather than after. Preventing it is so much easier than reversing it.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-4037">Matt Johnson</a>.</p> <p>Matt, having a decent relationship with your ex and already knowing about PAS even though you are not affected by it puts you in such a good position compared to the rest of us. I would recommend that at the first sign that your daughter is being pressured to take sides, that you (1) make sure your ex learns how damaging PAS is to children, and (2) provide your daughter with tools to help her stay out of the middle. One such is Dr Warshak’s DVD “Welcome Back, Pluto”, and another is Dr Amy Baker’s book “I Don’t Want to Choose”.</p> <p>Good luck! It is encouraging to see that people are beginning to hear about PAS before it happens to them rather than after. Preventing it is so much easier than reversing it.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Matt Johnson </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-4037</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Matt Johnson]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 29 Aug 2011 18:14:44 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-4037</guid> <description><![CDATA[I am a ncp father and have a good realtionship with my daughter, and a decent one with my ex. I'm also newly divorced so it's alot of up's and down's. I feel for the alienated parents on here, and am grateful I am not in that situation, but also will continue to make sure that stuff does not happen to me. Also I understand Dr. Warshak is a part of a Bar Association group to help change family law that I read on huffpost. I would love to be kept up to date with that.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am a ncp father and have a good realtionship with my daughter, and a decent one with my ex. I’m also newly divorced so it’s alot of up’s and down’s. I feel for the alienated parents on here, and am grateful I am not in that situation, but also will continue to make sure that stuff does not happen to me. Also I understand Dr. Warshak is a part of a Bar Association group to help change family law that I read on huffpost. I would love to be kept up to date with that.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: EC </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3477</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[EC]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 29 Jun 2011 02:32:10 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3477</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3361">EC</a>. My languge was deliberate: many parents continue to wonder if they had worn a different color tie or something in court, or had their hair done again before meeting with the GAL, it might have made a difference, and see gaining access to their child as an aspect of parenting and a test of their ability at it. At any rate when there's so little effort being put into reforming the system it doesn't wash to say only that one wasn't allowed to be a parent.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3361">EC</a>.</p> <p>My languge was deliberate: many parents continue to wonder if they had worn a different color tie or something in court, or had their hair done again before meeting with the GAL, it might have made a difference, and see gaining access to their child as an aspect of parenting and a test of their ability at it. At any rate when there’s so little effort being put into reforming the system it doesn’t wash to say only that one wasn’t allowed to be a parent.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Janta </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3471</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Janta]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 28 Jun 2011 08:32:53 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3471</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3377">B.L.</a>. BL, take digital photos of anything you mail and save the file with the date you sent the item, whether it was a card or a present. You could even upload those on facebook. One day, you may be able to show that digital record to your daughter, and she may be able to see that you did not forget her, and that the other parent's claims that you never wrote were not true.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3377">B.L.</a>.</p> <p>BL, take digital photos of anything you mail and save the file with the date you sent the item, whether it was a card or a present. You could even upload those on facebook. One day, you may be able to show that digital record to your daughter, and she may be able to see that you did not forget her, and that the other parent’s claims that you never wrote were not true.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Dr. Richard A. Warshak </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3465</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Dr. Richard A. Warshak]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Tue, 28 Jun 2011 01:38:28 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3465</guid> <description><![CDATA[I want to thank everyone who wrote responses to this article. The responses are high quality and I think will be helpful to many parents. I especially appreciate the encouragement given to Jim, who is so discouraged and pessimistic about the future of his relationship with his daughter. Beyond writing the Plutoverse blogposts, I am frustrated that, at the moment, I cannot participate more by giving replies to everyone who is kind enough to leave responses. I am working on several writing projects at once, all with deadlines, and this leaves little time for replies to responses on Plutoverse. I hope to become more active in the dialog when my schedule eases up.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I want to thank everyone who wrote responses to this article. The responses are high quality and I think will be helpful to many parents. I especially appreciate the encouragement given to Jim, who is so discouraged and pessimistic about the future of his relationship with his daughter.</p> <p>Beyond writing the Plutoverse blogposts, I am frustrated that, at the moment, I cannot participate more by giving replies to everyone who is kind enough to leave responses. I am working on several writing projects at once, all with deadlines, and this leaves little time for replies to responses on Plutoverse. I hope to become more active in the dialog when my schedule eases up.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: NN </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3446</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[NN]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 26 Jun 2011 00:35:55 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3446</guid> <description><![CDATA[Thank you Dr. Warshak for all your work in the field. As an alienated mother of a biological and step-child (2 of the 4 of our children are alienated. The other 2 seem to be psychologically healthy enough to withstand the denigration), I cannot help but feel frustrated, sad, grievous, and yes, angry sometimes at the way my children have treated me and my new husband. I realize it is not them, but rather the poisonous minds of exploitive exes (who are now "best friends" as they bond over how much the kids hate us). Instead of focusing on the negative or directing my anger toward the children, I try to come from a place of peace and love and to proactively find solutions in how to deal with this, what I feel, is the abuse of a child. I never wanted this for my children - ever. I am curious - have you found that many of the alienators suffer from personality disorders? And, Jim, above, don't give up hope. Love your child and please try not to take it personally. They're just kids who happen to bring up a lot in us because they are acting just like the ex - mean-spirited, vindictive, rotten, bratty....this isn't them, it's the brainwashing that's talking. A targeted parent has to stay strong in spite of what is said or done or the ex will just use that as further justification of what a "schmuck" you are. You don't really want that, do you? Please stay in your child's life - she needs a healthy role model.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thank you Dr. Warshak for all your work in the field. As an alienated mother of a biological and step-child (2 of the 4 of our children are alienated. The other 2 seem to be psychologically healthy enough to withstand the denigration), I cannot help but feel frustrated, sad, grievous, and yes, angry sometimes at the way my children have treated me and my new husband. I realize it is not them, but rather the poisonous minds of exploitive exes (who are now “best friends” as they bond over how much the kids hate us). Instead of focusing on the negative or directing my anger toward the children, I try to come from a place of peace and love and to proactively find solutions in how to deal with this, what I feel, is the abuse of a child. I never wanted this for my children – ever. I am curious – have you found that many of the alienators suffer from personality disorders? And, Jim, above, don’t give up hope. Love your child and please try not to take it personally. They’re just kids who happen to bring up a lot in us because they are acting just like the ex – mean-spirited, vindictive, rotten, bratty….this isn’t them, it’s the brainwashing that’s talking. A targeted parent has to stay strong in spite of what is said or done or the ex will just use that as further justification of what a “schmuck” you are. You don’t really want that, do you? Please stay in your child’s life – she needs a healthy role model.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Dr. Dad </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3442</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Dr. Dad]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 25 Jun 2011 13:20:02 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3442</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3361">EC</a>. While I am agree in theory with much of your writing. I think your final sentence needs some word-smithing. "Some parents much acknowledge that, despite their best efforts, they were not allowed to deliver much love and care to the betterment of their child's life.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3361">EC</a>.</p> <p>While I am agree in theory with much of your writing. I think your final sentence needs some word-smithing. “Some parents much acknowledge that, despite their best efforts, they were not allowed to deliver much love and care to the betterment of their child’s life.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Dr. Dad </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3441</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Dr. Dad]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 25 Jun 2011 13:14:46 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3441</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3396">Jim</a>. Dear Jim, I was just watching an HGTV show where 5 daughters assisted in a backyard makeover for their father. I was also checking for updates to the PAS debate as I do from time to time. I read your post and was identifying with what you're expressing. It's now almost 10 years since my divorce and custody battle. After less than one year of visitation that followed the original court guidelines and 9 years of modest to non-existent visitation, I often feel as you do. My 15 year old daughter has been manipulated to an extent that few would realize or believe. Like almost all father's I continue to pay child support (despite spending roughly $75,000 on legal proceedings across two states), attempt to make phone calls, and continue to express interest in my daughter's life. At numerous times, I have been tempted to "call it a day" and send a card saying...."if you have interest in knowing your TRUE father, contact me when you're an adult". Still haven't said it or sent it, but it makes me feel good to consider it. For me it's not so much the intermittent contact or the inappropriate behaviors but being trapped in the middle that is bothersome and stressful. I've, once again, filed a motion for visitation and custody. In fact, this time I'm attempting to have sole physical and legal custody returned to me. It won't work, but at least I'll be able to play recorded phone calls where my daughter's mother can be clearly heard telling her what to say and eventually to "hang up" when I can't be made to yell or "rage". I know I'm lucky Jim....I had help from my parents and my new spouse and have essentially wiped out my inheritance for the hope of a pseudo-relationship with my daughter. Please remember that OUR anger is natural.....remember the old days when it was "inappropriate" to treat your father like "sh*t"? Well it still is....but please remember that our anger at them needs to be expressed and explored--just not aimed at our alienated children. Good luck and peace to you Jim. Please email or touch base here if I can help.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3396">Jim</a>.</p> <p>Dear Jim,</p> <p> I was just watching an HGTV show where 5 daughters assisted in a backyard makeover for their father. I was also checking for updates to the PAS debate as I do from time to time. I read your post and was identifying with what you’re expressing. It’s now almost 10 years since my divorce and custody battle. After less than one year of visitation that followed the original court guidelines and 9 years of modest to non-existent visitation, I often feel as you do. My 15 year old daughter has been manipulated to an extent that few would realize or believe. Like almost all father’s I continue to pay child support (despite spending roughly $75,000 on legal proceedings across two states), attempt to make phone calls, and continue to express interest in my daughter’s life. At numerous times, I have been tempted to “call it a day” and send a card saying….”if you have interest in knowing your TRUE father, contact me when you’re an adult”. Still haven’t said it or sent it, but it makes me feel good to consider it.<br /> For me it’s not so much the intermittent contact or the inappropriate behaviors but being trapped in the middle that is bothersome and stressful. I’ve, once again, filed a motion for visitation and custody. In fact, this time I’m attempting to have sole physical and legal custody returned to me. It won’t work, but at least I’ll be able to play recorded phone calls where my daughter’s mother can be clearly heard telling her what to say and eventually to “hang up” when I can’t be made to yell or “rage”.<br /> I know I’m lucky Jim….I had help from my parents and my new spouse and have essentially wiped out my inheritance for the hope of a pseudo-relationship with my daughter. Please remember that OUR anger is natural…..remember the old days when it was “inappropriate” to treat your father like “sh*t”? Well it still is….but please remember that our anger at them needs to be expressed and explored–just not aimed at our alienated children. Good luck and peace to you Jim. Please email or touch base here if I can help.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Irene </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3416</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Irene]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 22 Jun 2011 20:21:42 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3416</guid> <description><![CDATA[In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3396">Jim</a>. Jim, at sixteen your daughter is still completely dependent on your ex and is unconsciously doing what she must in order to survive in that household. In the next few years she will experience many life changes -- boyfriends, break-ups, leaving home, college/university, jobs, career choices -- any of which could trigger her to re-evaluate her view of her mother and of you. I do understand your bitterness that any reconciliation may come too late for your parents, but if you can hang in there, you actually have a better chance for a happy ending in the next few years than those whose alienated children are younger or much older.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3396">Jim</a>.</p> <p>Jim, at sixteen your daughter is still completely dependent on your ex and is unconsciously doing what she must in order to survive in that household. In the next few years she will experience many life changes — boyfriends, break-ups, leaving home, college/university, jobs, career choices — any of which could trigger her to re-evaluate her view of her mother and of you. I do understand your bitterness that any reconciliation may come too late for your parents, but if you can hang in there, you actually have a better chance for a happy ending in the next few years than those whose alienated children are younger or much older.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Anonymous </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3414</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Anonymous]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 22 Jun 2011 18:25:22 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3414</guid> <description><![CDATA[I totally feel for all of these alienated parents. Our situation, as I am sure as everyone believes of their own is unique, This is a story of a father who had custody for 16 of 18 years of a daughter's life because her mother had a psychotic schizoaffective episode when the child was 2. Shortly after the daughter turned 18, her mother took advantage of her daughter who was very vulnerable at the time because she had graduated high school and was so nervous about her future and was on the verge of a planned break up with her boyfriend because they were going to go to different colleges. Also, the father at hand was having a hard time letting go of his little girl who he had protected and loved for 18 years. The daughter and father had an argument. The mother stepped in and encouraged negative and drastic advice to the daughter about her father and the daughter did not talk to the father, step mom (who was with the family the entire 16 years), little brother and sister, the whole entire side of the father's and step mothers family for nearly a year. The birth mother claims to have had postpartum depression for her reason that she lost her daughter in this first place and is lying to everyone. Her mother had her first documented schizoaffective episode when she was 19 (didn't have any kids yet). She claims to counsel women with postpartum depression and tells the world these lies when we know for a fact that she had schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder. We have court documented proof of this. This has been a very tough time. The birth mother has postings on public forums that also prove her negative encouragement to her daughter about her father. We have talked to the daughter a few times in the last couple of months, but we all need to sit down face to face and go over the whole situation and then lay it to rest once and for all.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I totally feel for all of these alienated parents. Our situation, as I am sure as everyone believes of their own is unique, This is a story of a father who had custody for 16 of 18 years of a daughter’s life because her mother had a psychotic schizoaffective episode when the child was 2. Shortly after the daughter turned 18, her mother took advantage of her daughter who was very vulnerable at the time because she had graduated high school and was so nervous about her future and was on the verge of a planned break up with her boyfriend because they were going to go to different colleges. Also, the father at hand was having a hard time letting go of his little girl who he had protected and loved for 18 years. The daughter and father had an argument. The mother stepped in and encouraged negative and drastic advice to the daughter about her father and the daughter did not talk to the father, step mom (who was with the family the entire 16 years), little brother and sister, the whole entire side of the father’s and step mothers family for nearly a year. The birth mother claims to have had postpartum depression for her reason that she lost her daughter in this first place and is lying to everyone. Her mother had her first documented schizoaffective episode when she was 19 (didn’t have any kids yet). She claims to counsel women with postpartum depression and tells the world these lies when we know for a fact that she had schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder. We have court documented proof of this. This has been a very tough time. The birth mother has postings on public forums that also prove her negative encouragement to her daughter about her father. We have talked to the daughter a few times in the last couple of months, but we all need to sit down face to face and go over the whole situation and then lay it to rest once and for all.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: Jim </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3396</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 20 Jun 2011 19:17:34 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3396</guid> <description><![CDATA[I don't believe in any bit of hope whatsoever. ZERO. My daughter is going to hate me forever. She is sixteen. Her mother has stolen her father away, her childhood, her future and her soul. My little girl who loved me so much treats me less than an insect. She throws away everything I get her. IPad? What a waste. Bicycle? Waste. There is not going to be an individuation for her. She is going to stay a small, mean child entitled to do anything - just like her mother. I give my duaghter unconditional love and she hurts me and laughs in my face. And I have no recourse. So sometime when she is downtrodden and forty years old and I am an old man she will try to reconcile with me? No, she loves her mommy too much because her mommy is a perfect - God on Earth. And in the meantime she treats my eighty year old parents like dirt too. They did nothing to her but love her, just like me. How am I going to forgive that they will be disrespected and die and she will never say sorry to them? I am thinking I never will now. Everyone can say that she is just brainwashed and will come around. Well, anymore I am just thinking too bad, chick, your loss.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I don’t believe in any bit of hope whatsoever. ZERO. My daughter is going to hate me forever. She is sixteen. Her mother has stolen her father away, her childhood, her future and her soul. My little girl who loved me so much treats me less than an insect. She throws away everything I get her. IPad? What a waste. Bicycle? Waste. </p> <p>There is not going to be an individuation for her. She is going to stay a small, mean child entitled to do anything – just like her mother. I give my duaghter unconditional love and she hurts me and laughs in my face. And I have no recourse. </p> <p>So sometime when she is downtrodden and forty years old and I am an old man she will try to reconcile with me? No, she loves her mommy too much because her mommy is a perfect – God on Earth. And in the meantime she treats my eighty year old parents like dirt too. They did nothing to her but love her, just like me. </p> <p>How am I going to forgive that they will be disrespected and die and she will never say sorry to them? I am thinking I never will now. Everyone can say that she is just brainwashed and will come around. Well, anymore I am just thinking too bad, chick, your loss.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: B.L. </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3377</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[B.L.]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 18 Jun 2011 17:13:00 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3377</guid> <description><![CDATA[In our situation, we knew that anything mailed, e-mailed and any voice mails were being deleted by the other parent and the daughter never knew anyone had ever tried to contact her. We set up a group on facebook where friends and family could leave messages for her in the hopes that someday she would see it.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In our situation, we knew that anything mailed, e-mailed and any voice mails were being deleted by the other parent and the daughter never knew anyone had ever tried to contact her. We set up a group on facebook where friends and family could leave messages for her in the hopes that someday she would see it.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title> By: EC </title> <link>https://warshak.com/blog/2011/06/16/fathers-day-message-to-rejected-fathers/#comment-3361</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[EC]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 16 Jun 2011 23:09:46 +0000</pubDate> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://warshak.com/blog/?p=525#comment-3361</guid> <description><![CDATA[However, a propos this otherwise good suggestion, many parents are barred by court order from attempting to contact their alienated children---a voice or email message may result in punitive action being taken against them---even when the child would actually welcome it. Unfortunately one's reality includes and can't ignore what all the people, behaving as a group, around them think about them and how they are treated in a broad family and community context. A `narrative' that's been constructed in accordance with powerful political and personal interests and exigencies easily trumps the literal facts. And many parents have to admit that despite their best efforts they didn't manage to deliver much love and care to their child's benefit.]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>However, a propos this otherwise good suggestion, many parents are barred by court order from attempting to contact their alienated children—a voice or email message may result in punitive action being taken against them—even when the child would actually welcome it.</p> <p>Unfortunately one’s reality includes and can’t ignore what all the people, behaving as a group, around them think about them and how they are treated in a broad family and community context. A `narrative’ that’s been constructed in accordance with powerful political and personal interests and exigencies easily trumps the literal facts. And many parents have to admit that despite their best efforts they didn’t manage to deliver much love and care to their child’s benefit.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> </channel> </rss>