Dr. Warshak’s Guide To Managing Holiday Blues

Holiday blues are intense feelings of sadness or loneliness during the holiday period. Such feelings are more unsettling than usual because they contrast with the spirit of benevolence and joy that we associate with the holidays. Holiday blues last for a few days to a few weeks around the holidays, but usually diminish when the season is over and we resume normal routines.

When we understand where the blues come from and what they look like, we are in a stronger position to manage these difficult feelings rather than let them overwhelm us.

Causes of Holiday Blues

• increased stress
• unrealistic expectations
• inability to be with family
• memories of past holiday celebrations
• changes in routine, including diet and sleep

Symptoms

• sleep problems (too much, too little, or nighttime awakenings)
• significant changes in appetite
• irritability
• anxiety and agitation
• headaches
• excessive or inappropriate feelings of guilt
• difficulty concentrating or thinking clearly
• decreased interest in activities that usually bring pleasure, such as food, sex, work, friends, hobbies, entertainment

Dos and Don’ts for Managing the Holiday Blues

Dos

• Remind yourself that the holiday blues are temporary.
• Practice good health habits: eat right, get plenty of rest, and exercise regularly.
• Set realistic goals.
• Reduce your expectations.
• Organize your time.
• Make lists.
• Prioritize.
• Make a budget and follow it.
• If the past has you down, create new holiday traditions.
• Help others find joy in the holidays (this helps to take away the focus on your sadness).
• Ask for help from people who care about you.
• Spend time with people.
• Accept the blues without berating yourself for feeling this way.
• If money worries have your down, find and enjoy free activities.
• Do allow yourself to feel sad, lonely or melancholy — these are normal feelings, particularly at holiday times.
• Do something for someone else.
• Reach out to someone with whom you have lost touch.
• Do something for yourself out of the ordinary, e.g., prepare a special meal.

Don’ts

• Avoid overdoing it: drinking too much, eating foods high in sugar and fat, spending money you do not have all contribute to holiday stress and blues.
• Don’t dwell on the past.
• Don’t compare your situation to romanticized movie images of the holidays.
• Don’t focus on what is missing in your life.
• Don’t make major decisions until the blues are gone.
• Don’t give in to despair; you won’t always be feeling this way.

If, in spite of your best efforts, the blues become too severe, don’t hesitate to get professional help.