People tend to make the same resolutions year after year: they resolve to end a particular vice on average ten times. Every renewed vow represents last year’s failure.
One out of four people give up by the end of the first week. Of those who fail this year, 60% will make the same resolution next year. People usually make the same resolution for five years before they manage a 6-month success. Failure rates are highest for addictive behaviors and unhealthy habits such as smoking, drinking, and overeating.
Despite repeated failures, with memories of limited successes people convince themselves that full success is in their grasp with a just few tweaks of the program. This has been called the “false hope syndrome.”
Four Reasons Why Resolutions Are Not Kept (hint: all have to do with unrealistic expectations)
- Amount of change: people believe they can change more than is feasible (e.g., can lose more weight than is realistic)
- Speed of change: people believe they will change more quickly than is possible
- Ease of change: people underestimate the effort it takes to make changes
- Effects of change on other aspects of life: people have unrealistic expectations about how a change will improve their lives. For instance, diet programs promise fast, easy, dramatic weight loss that will change one’s entire life.
Ten Strategies of Effective Change
- Break down the goal into smaller units and take baby steps. (E. g., if chronically late, write down exactly what you have to do each morning. Set a goal of arriving at work five minutes earlier each week until you have reached your ultimate goal.)
- Compare the consequences of change versus status quo. (E. g., if you don’t change you’ll lose your job).
- Reward yourself. Some reward is inherent in the pleasure of the new behavior and the benefits of change (e.g., seeing clothes laid out the night before and not rushing in the morning is enjoyable). Reward yourself through other means as well. When you meet your weekly target, put $40 into a vacation fund. Each morning activity completed within the allotted time limit should earn additional money into the fund.
- Prepare for problems. (E. g., use a wake-up service for the first month until you are sure your alarm clock will wake you.)
- Monitor your behaviors. Knowing about the process allows more control over it.
- Request feedback. People are reluctant to compliment you on your change because it implies that they disliked your old behavior. (E. g., if someone used to interrupt all the time, people would not want to say, “I enjoy talking with you now that you are no longer a jerk.”) Ask them how your are doing with your problem.
- Analyze the outcomes. (E. g., every morning think about why you did or did not succeed in being on time).
- Change requires structure. Identify what works and what doesn’t. (E. g., replace time- consuming breakfast with quick protein drinks). Every day review how you are changing and why (e. g., “cruise ship here I come”).
- Practice is essential. It makes new behaviors automatic. A major reason for failure is lack of practice. (E. g., during the first week try to be punctual for work. Next week try to be punctual for another regular activity.)
- Use reminders. Because a new behavior is not automatic, it is easy to forget. (E. g., keep a list on your bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator, and in your car of each step in your morning routine and the maximum amount of time you have to complete it.)
Model Resolution for Parents: Resolve to shield your children from hostility toward their other parent.
I wish all of you success in keeping your resolutions. Happy New Year from Plutoverse.