I set out to write this message for rejected fathers and quickly realized that I wanted to tell them the same things I told rejected mothers on Mother’s Day. So here is the prior blogpost, intact, except that Father replaces Mother.
Father’s Day is not a happy occasion for fathers whose children reject them. On this day your children should be honoring you and celebrating your contributions to their lives. Instead, their love for you has been disowned under the influence of an insecure or vindictive parent.
If you have come to terms with your children’s rejection, and moved on with your life, dwelling on the significance of this day may merely open old wounds. Some fathers, though, may want to consider the following suggestion.
If your children fail to contact you today, or treat you with disdain, and you have a thick skin, consider calling them to let them know (via voice mail if they do not take your calls) that on this day you celebrate your role as their father, you accept that they can not, and you look forward to the day when they will be able to recover their identity as children of two parents.
For all rejected fathers, please do not allow the smears about you to affect your view of reality. It does not matter how forcefully or repeatedly your ex and your children put you down. This does not change the reality of who you are and how much your children have benefitted from your love and care.
My final Father’s Day message is one of hope. As alienated children grow up, some (we don’t know what percent) begin thinking for themselves and reach out to a parent they have rejected. I do not believe in giving false hope to people. In the case of estranged parent-child relationships, though, there is reason for hope. To keep you going while you wait for your children to rediscover their bond to you, you may find it helpful to read about successfully restored relationships.
14 Responses to Father’s Day Message to Rejected Fathers